My dad used to say that I was raising him. Now, when he makes a mistake, he will say, “I don’t think you raised me right.” Growing up, I would always laugh at the idea of a child raising an adult. Now that I’m a parent, the idea makes complete and total sense.
Some day, when I grow up, I will be a mother who is mature, witty, and on top of shit like a Claire Dunphy or Beverly Goldberg. In my mind, I am still in my infancy of adulthood. Even though 30 is looming over me like a hawk hunting it’s prey and I’m married with a house and a baby, I still feel like I am a kid.
I still look to my parents for advice, and thank God for the internet because I have no friggin’ clue how to maintain this house half the time! For example, I had to look up what a garbage disposal was and how to use it. And we are lucky we have clean laundry every week because half the time I forget to do it or forget to start it and then forget it’s there until my husband is asking where all his underwear went. I am often either disorganized or distracted and forget to plan dinner or get groceries. “For tonight’s dinner, I have prepared a lovely appetizer of cheese sticks followed by a ramen noodle entree” I wonder if my husband catches on to the fact that I totally forgot to plan for dinner?
Given that Julie Bowen (the actress who plays Claire Dunphy) is 46 years old and Wendi McLendon-Covey (Beverly Goldberg) is also 46, I feel I have a good 16 years to grow into a mature and responsible mother.
This first year has been a wonderful start. My feet are spreading, my belly is cuddley, and my boobs are sad. My son reassures me that these are good mommy characteristics by nuzzling his face into my belly and melting into my warm squishy hugs. I have become a mature sleeper, functioning fine with only a tapestry of naps, which we now accept as a decent night’s sleep. And I have learned lessons of etiquette such as, always put the toilet lid down (unless I want everything I own to be washed in toilet water), to never leave my things laying around (or else they will mysteriously walk off and show up weeks later after I have purchased a replacement), and to keep a clean floor (because you never know when someone will want to eat off it). These lessons have surely set me down a path to becoming a great mother and mature adult.
I am looking forward to the next 16 years and can only hope that Baby Co does a good job raising me.