Stop with the lame excuses!

Lame Excuses

We all do it. It is an inevitable part of parenting and almost a rite of passage. We enthusiastically sign up for an event (or many events) only to inevitably cancel, arrive unfashionably late, or Cinderella home at noon. As parents, we understand that children need sleep, they often want to eat, they get sick, and at times, they are just too cranky for public. I’ll say that again, as parents, we understand. I mean, thats why we seek each other out, right, because we get it. So why do we always feel the need to explain ourselves?

I tend to post a lot of parent meet-up events, and because I have FOMO (fear of missing out), I tend to go to a lot of events as well. Without fail, as the event draws closer, the explanations begin to pour in. My phone struggles to make sense and order out of the various messages while I sigh at another lame excuse. I get it, things come up, but can’t we come up with something better than the all too predictable nap time? How about trying one of these explanations on for size, I’d bet other parents will still be able to guess what you mean:

  1. Adam was attacked by nap-dragons!
  2. Bauer promised a princess he would rescue her at noon.
  3. I just realized Chloe has quidditch practice.
  4. If Douglas does not stop his uncontrollable dancing, I’m pretty sure we are going to be late.
  5. So it looks like I lost Emma. Once I find her, we’ll be on our way.
  6. The cats have retaliated against Fiona’s “petting” by eating our car key. This doesn’t look good for us.
  7. George is afraid of the weather.
  8. Henry discovered super glue this morning. We are going to be a little late.
  9. There is a spider sitting on the door handle.
  10. Isabelle’s zombie defense training is running over schedule.
  11. Unfortunately there is a disturbance in the force, and it is not with us right now. Luke never goes anywhere without the force.
  12. We were really looking forward to this, but unfortunately I’m having trouble with my lady parts today (this excuse would be even better if you’re a man).
  13. James is insisting we stay home and pet the dog.
  14. I was showing Koala how not to ride his bike off a cliff and I’m pretty sore today.
  15. Will be late – trying to figure out what happens if you give a mouse a cookie.
  16. Liam is finishing up his baby jousting session!
  17. Marco just asked how babies are made. This may take a while.
  18. Raelynn couldn’t find her glasses – they were in the snack container.
  19. Shiloh wanted to play Cards Against Humanity.
  20. Teddy and I are flying a rocket ship to the moon to get our very own moon rock.

The possibilities are endless and far more interesting than the go to, “still napping” or “needs a nap” and yet they all say the same thing, “I’m going to be late” or “we won’t be able to go today.” So I hope you will think of this the next time you experience a change in plans, which let’s be honest, will probably happen within in the next 24-hours.

If you have a great excuse that I could use, please share it in the comments section below!

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