Each night we tuck our son into bed and hand him Bunny; a lovey from my own infancy. He always holds bunny closely as he waits for us to exit the room and then begins a conversation that I have to imagine goes something like this:
- Baby Co: Geesh, if I have to smile through one more round of Old McDonald I’ll poop myself!
- Bunny: [stares blankly]
- Baby Co: Speaking of that, I learned a new trick I have to tell you about. You know how Mommy is always sniffing my tush to see if I’ve made poop? Well, I wait for her to flip me over to check and then I let out some gas! Gets her every time!
- Bunny: [flops over in apparent amusement]
- Baby Co: Mommy is learning though. Just today I taught her and Daddy how to cheer on my command. I make clapping gestures with my hands and every time they get all excited and start cheering and clapping. They’re so funny.
- Bunny: [stares knowingly]
- Baby Co: I’m sorry you couldn’t come to lunch. I want you to know that I smeared banana on my pants in protest.
- Bunny: [stares appreciatively]
- Baby Co: I know you’re afraid of getting lost, but you really should come to the mall with us next time. Mommy and I play this great game where I take my sock off and throw it out of the stroller. Then get this, Mommy has to find the sock and put it back on me, it’s a hoot! Mommy loves this game.
- Bunny: (silent)
- Baby Co: [lifts and slams Bunny down several times onto the bed] Don’t fall asleep on me Bunny, I haven’t even told you the best part.
- Bunny: [stares with interest]
- Baby Co: I got that naughty cat back for laying on you the other day! I pretended like I was going to be gentle and then when Mommy wasn’t looking, I pulled his hair out and ate it!
- Bunny: [look of sleepy admiration]
- Baby Co: I don’t know why you’re so tired bunny; you sat in bed all day! I’m not at all sleepy. I could read Curious George all over again. I could sing twinkle twinkle. Watch how many sheep I can count… 1… 2…